


Even If You Run Away, You Still See Them In Your Dreams

by soclosethatisafruit



Category: The Bifrost Incident - The Mechanisms (Album), The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Multi, Pining, definitely not a kin memory, i have not edited this once since finishing it, idk what else to tag this as tbh, its just the prison mechs trying to get lyf to sleep, lyf is so done with their shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26306158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soclosethatisafruit/pseuds/soclosethatisafruit
Summary: After Lyf falls asleep mid-interrogation (an entire grand piano, really?) their lovely immortal space pirate prisoners decide something must be done about their sleep schedule, and of course take matters into their own hands.
Relationships: Ivy Alexandria/Raphaella la Cognizi/Lyfrassir Edda/Marius von Raum, Ivy Alexandria/Raphaella la Cognizi/Marius von Raum
Comments: 6
Kudos: 145





	Even If You Run Away, You Still See Them In Your Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> I have prison mechs/lyf brainrot and I just care them a lot  
> Title from Talk To Me by Cavetown because I'm trans

“It’s not that difficult, Von Raum. Just tell me how you managed to smuggle 5 musical instruments into your prison cell, including an entire grand piano?” Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda had their head in their hands, dark circles under their eyes even more prominent than usual. The three prisoners who were causing this seemed cheerful as ever, completely unperturbed by the interrogation.

“The so called ‘laws of physics’ only apply to us about 18% of the time, Inspector, as we have explained on 12 separate occasions.” Ivy said casually, with Marius’s head in her lap as she played with his hair.

“That doesn’t help, Alexandria, just tell me how and why you snuck a grand piano into a prison cell.” The 3 hour interrogation was taking its toll on Lyf, and they seemed ready to drop any second.

“When was the last time you slept, Lyf?” Ivy asked, instead of answering their question. “There is a 90% chance it has been over 24 hours since you have slept, and based on when we have seen you, a 78% chance it has been at least 36 hours. Inhabitants of the Yggdrasil System need to sleep 7-9 hours every day for optimal performance and health.”

“Wh-why does it matter Alexandria? Just answer my questions so we can all leave and I can deal with the massive amounts of paperwork you three have caused me” At their own reminder of all the paperwork they had to face, they collapsed on the table and began mumbling to themself. Ivy, Marius, and Raphaella gave each other a Look. Marius spoke up first.

“My darling inspector, what if we played you a little bedtime song?” He pulled out a violin he had been hiding under his coat and grinned at them. They just shook their head violently, continuing to mumble to themself about career paths and paperwork and pirates. Raphaella tried next.  
“Inspector, you seem very tired. Why don't we put off this interrogation until tomorrow, and you can go home and get some rest?” This at least made Lyf pick their head up, if only so they could glare at their prisoners.

“I can’t leave until I get something useful out of you all, and even then there’s still the massive amounts of paperwork you cause me on a daily basis, but especially with this stunt…” They groaned and put their head back on the desk, wishing desperately that they had never been assigned to these unaging pirates who seemed hell bent on causing them as much work as possible, and yet still pretended to care about their health? Insufferable. The prisoners looked concernedly at Lyf, who in their sleep deprived state was about to pass out on the table. All three silently agreed to stay quiet so the Inspector could get their much needed sleep. Within the next 5 minutes, Lyf was fully asleep on their desk as the prisoners looked on, fondly.

“They’re cute when they’re asleep.” Marius whispered, in an attempt not to wake them up. Ivy and Raphaella agreed, smiling softly at them for a moment. Ivy frowned, though.

“They look cold, and they would be likely to sleep more if they were warm. We should give them our blanket, so they can get some rest.” Raphaella handed over the blanket, and Ivy draped it over their shoulders and back, trying to tuck them in comfortably without disturbing their slumber.

“That desk seems awfully uncomfortable, should we maybe give them a pillow?” Marius asked, not quite yet satisfied with the inspector’s comfort. Raphaella thought for a second, tapping her fingers together.

“We didn’t bring a pillow, but … aha! Mari, your coat!” Marius looked confused, but after a half second, it dawned on him, and he removed his coat, folding it into a rectangle that, while not a perfect pillow, would be more comfortable than the metal table currently passing for one. He carefully slid it under their head, and the three returned to their own cuddle pile, with Raphaella’s wings replacing the blanket they had given Lyf.

The next day, Lyf entered their cell, flushed pink with a mixture of rage and embarrassment. They were holding two pieces of neatly folded fabric in their arms. The three prisoners perked up at the sight of them, Marius preparing his typical dramatic greeting he never tired of, so long as it continued to annoy the Inspector. But before he could even get out ‘morning’, Lyf cut him off with a short  
“Von Raum. La Cognizi. Alexandria. Your coat and blanket, though the copious amounts of knives that were in the coat have been removed - how did you fit that many knives? Anyways, it doesn't matter, your belongings are returned and my business here is done.” They turned to leave, but were interrupted by Ivy.  
“Inspector, how did you sleep?” She looked at them with faux innocence. “Would you say your health and performance have been improved by a good rest?” Lyf went even brighter red, scowling deeply.

“I’m not required to answer that, Alexandria. Goodbye.” But before they could leave, they were interrupted by Ivy again.

“Based on data I have gathered over the time we have known you, I have created a chart of your sleep schedule. It is, to say the least, less than optimal. Though it is incomplete, as we do not have access to your full day, the implications are troubling.” They hold up a chart with three columns, a green one with a smiley face at the top, labelled ‘Adequate’, a yellow one with a :/ face labelled ‘Okay’, and a red one with a sad face labelled ‘Bad’. There were dates listed in each category, but the division was far from even. Only five days were in the green column, while the red contained more than half of the days.

“I also have it in calendar form,” Ivy gestured to Marius, who was holding a calendar with red, green, and yellow dates, and pictures of Lyf interrogating them at the top with the month. “And there are binders containing more detailed data for each day. Any day in bold is a day in which you had not slept in 24 hours previously. As is laid out in the binders, your job performance and general mood were significantly lower on the bolded days. There is also more data, but I won’t bore you with the details now.” She gestured to Raphaella, sitting on top of a stack of binders, papers, and files clearly marked as ‘Classified’. “Therefore, you, Inspector Second Class, Lyfrassir Edda, need to get more fucking sleep.” They blinked, trying to process all the information being thrown at them at once.  
“I- Where did you get all this? Are those classified files? How did you find out when I clock in and leave every day? How did you get access to the security cameras from the interrogation room?” Ivy smiled at them cheerfully.

“That doesn’t matter! What matters is that we have proven - with Science, might I add - that you need to sleep more! So you have to follow our advice!” Marius handed the stack of calendars to Lyf, who saw their own frustrated and exhausted face staring back at them, from the picture of the month the top one was open to.  
They sputtered  
“This is completely ridiculous! I don’t need calendars, I am a grown adult who can handle myself and I certainly don’t need the advice of my prisoners on my sleep schedule! I will not accept your silly calendars and binders and - goodbye!” They stormed out of the room, throwing the calendars behind them as they slammed the cell door shut. The three prisoners looked at each other.

“Well, that went better than expected!” Raphaella announced cheerfully. “We’ll just keep updating it, and maybe with a combination of that and Marius’s puppy eyes, we’ll get through to them!”

The next day, when Lyf came into their cell, to ask them about the classified files they had stolen, the previous day had been added to the red column, and the time they had clocked in had been logged in one of the binders. They ripped both up. The day after that, when they came in, the papers had been replaced, added to, and laminated to prevent ripping. So instead they didn’t ask about where the fuck they had found a laminator, confiscated them, and set them on fire at home, as a form of stress relief. They were disappointed, if not unsurprised, when they came in the next morning to a replaced and added to archive on their sleep schedule. They gave up after that, figuring that their focus on their sleep schedule meant that they were spending less time on violent crime, unless they had killed whoever’s printer and laminator they were using. They sighed, beating down the nice feeling they got at being cared about, even by their prisoners, and went back to the stacks of paperwork said prisoners had doomed them to for eternity.


End file.
